Funny Quotes
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In weight lifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
- Jack Handey.
Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
- Henry Kissinger.
A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.
- Ronald Reagan
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
- Homer J Simpson.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
- Anonymous.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!
- Unknown.
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