Funny Quotes
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Anonymous.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Unknown.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Dean Martin
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
- Bill Cosby
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein.
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Steven Wright.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
- Bill Vaughan.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
- David Letterman.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
- Woody Allen.
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