Funny Quotes
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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
- Pearl Williams.
Constipated People Don't Give A crap.
- Anonymous.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.
- Les Dawson.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
- Whitney Brown.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
- Jane Wagner.
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
- Albert Einstein
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Unknown.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
- Dilbert.
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
- Ken Dodd.
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